Q: Why did GOD retire?
A: When youšve been everywhere, done everything and know everything, what else is there to do?

Q: Why did the human canonball retire?
A: He was fired! They wanted somebody of higher calibre!

Q: Why did the prostitute retire?
A: She screwed up!

Q: Why did the astronaut retire?
A: He got spaced out!

Q: Why did Napoleon the trombonist retire?
A: Someone took his Bonaparte!

Q: Why did the cave explorer retire?
A: Let's not go into that...

Q: Why did the homophobic politician retire?
A: He got a mandate!

Q: Why did the song of the week retire?
A: It was all played out!

Q: Why did the musician retire?

Q: Why did the devil retire?
A(1): He was burned out!
No wait, that's the fireman...
A(2): He just wanted to get the hell outta there!

Q: Why did Darth Vader retire?
A: He was forced out!

Q: Why did the fencer retire?
A: He didn't see the point anymore!

Q: Why did the asshole retire?
A: He was tired of being the butt of all the jokes!

Q: Why did the Chinese actor retire after he got a haircut?
A: He missed his cue!

Q: Why did the UPS man retire?
A: He felt boxed in!

Q: Why did the team of horses retire?
A: They were tired of their two-bit job!

Q: Why did the butcher retire?
A: He was cut off in his prime!

Q: Why did the baby retire?
A: He needed a change!

Q: Why did the robber retire?
A: He just couldn't take it anymore!