Just Another Doomsday, Kid12/31/24I'm not (quite) the kind of guy to walk around all Pollyanna Smilebutton proclaiming that the good news is that the bad news was wrong. Both my overdeveloped neocortex and my generally underperforming limbic system are convinced otherwise. On the other hand, I have to get up in the morning. So over the course of my life I've developed a certain practical stoicism, a sense of proportion without any messy philosophical superstructure weighing it down. The functionality of this becomes obvious in cases such as the present political circumstance in this, the biggest, baddest, nuke-est country on the rapidly shrinking planet. I spent the entire year in a state of what could be termed magical denial, repeating to myself endlessly the mystic mantra TRUMP IS GONNA LOSE. Not because I particularly had faith that it would achieve some cosmic purpose (after all, you don't have to believe in magic for it to work), but just to keep from spending the entire year in a state of barely-surpressed hysteria. And to that end, it functioned pret' durn well. However, it had no more effect on the election than I expected it to after I heard that the billionaire techbros were buying the whole schmere. You can chant and burn incense til your head explodes but in the end, America has a very democratic system of government: one dollar, one vote. Now, all the happy horseshit in the Augean Stables won't disguise the undeniable fact that we're about to be party to a massive sharknado of misery and maleficence the likes of which the world may have never seen before. U! S! A! But that Very Unpleasant Truth leaves all of us who still possess at least a few tattered shreds of decency and common sense with the responsibility to preserve those tattered shreds by any means adequate to carry us through to whatever may lie on the other side of the great River of Grief we're currently greasing up to marathon across. Or in Joe Hill's last words, "Don't mourn, boys, organize!" In that spirit, this year's Thaddeus Gazette Calendar is dedicated to the proposition that, for the most part, life goes on, even in the midst of, well, this. Any inspiration or comfort it may give you is strictly a product of the originators of the quotes I used, and any irritation or dissatisfaction you may feel with it ain't nobody's business but your own. In these Stygian times, we all have to put on our Big Kid pants and buckle down to the unimpressive business of survival — of self, of community, of culture, of hope. Remember: the monsters run from the light. Shine on! Happy New Year! Notes on the downloads: If all you want is something to read on your tablet, the Straight Version calendar works great. But if you want to sacrifice leaves of sacred paper and replicate your own personal copy, use the Printable Version file as follows: Print the whole document, even pages only. Then, print the odd pages so that page 1 appears upside down on the back of 2, 3 upside down on 4 and so forth. Depending on how your printer handles paper, you may wind up reversing the pagination to make your calendar work right. Fold the entire schmere in half so the cover is out, saddle stitch the spine and just like downtown. Only with better parking. |
